Dumasaphobia

Kevin Kearney…

So…. Morons CAN fly…  Why can’t pigs?

So my wife works in a retail pet store.  You know the kind, corporate store with rodents, birds, reptiles and fish.  Of course in the daily routine of things, pets must be cared for and their environments kept clean.  From time to time, things can and do go wrong.  Especially in the fish department.  Tanks get filled with ick, or a filter breaks down, some new fish show up with an illness and start spreading their disease to the others in the tank.  Whatever.

It seems the management of this store (outside of my wife that is), has a combined I.Q. of a burnt out light-bulb.  Every damned night around 9/9:30pm, she gets a phone call cause some halfwit can’t figure out how to do something or must gossip on how the opposing manager isn’t doing their job.  It’s more than frustrating that they can’t shut the fuck up and learn their jobs.

One night recently came a distress call from the store about how there is water spilling all over the floor.  And they don’t know what to do about it….

It turns out that one of the tanks had a failure and it was necessary for the “feeder fish” to be moved to the breeder fish tank while it was down.  OK, no big deal.  However, then the feeder fish started dying at an alarming rate.  This caused the dead fish bodies to start clogging up the system and causing it to over flow onto the floor.  So instead of handling the situation, they call my wife in and have her handle it.  When she got there the floor was flooded and still getting more water.  Not one of these retards working there thought of the simplest thing.  Turn off the tank.   This would stop the water from flooding the floor, then they could remove the dead fish from where they were piling up dead.  Clean the tank and move on.  Nope, my wife had to be called in to think of that simple solution.

To make matters worse, the very next morning, my wife arrived at work to find almost the whole store floor covered in water yet again.  Why?  Cause the idiots she works with, didn’t finish the job and turned the tank back on.

Whatever happened to common sense and good work ethics?  And how do people like this manage to keep their jobs?  I’m telling you folks, idiots are taking over.

So I went to see Batman - The Dark Knight on Saturday with my Mom.  I don’t go to the theater like I used too.  And for good reason.  Years back when I went to see XXX (The Vin Diesel movie you twits), the sound was so obnoxiously loud, I couldn’t take it and the wife and I slipped out half way through and were very unhappy that the movie was played at very uncomfortable high volume levels.

With the very few exceptions for movies we really wanted to see, we’d wait for the movie to come out on DVD and watch it at home instead.  Besides the outrageously expensive ticket prices and the gouging you take for a bucket of popcorn and a soda, it just isn’t worth going anymore.

This is what I explained to my Mom.  Little did we know, that we were about to have the experience that defines retarded.  When you walk into our new theater here in town, immediately they have no cellphone signs.  When you get seated, you watch ads and in between you are asked to silence your cellphones.  Which as a good citizen, I do.  I turn it off and leave it in the car.  If my wife or children need something, they know that unless it’s life threatening, they can either wait or call a friend or relative.  Otherwise they can call 911.  Just like you had to do in the old days.  Before those wonderful cellphones that every man, woman and child has.  You know, those things that were once not allowed at work?  But now you see them stuck to the heads of these so-called humans while they are ringing up your groceries talking about who they are going with this Friday night…  Frustrating to say the least.  You people must talk at great length about what most sane people consider idol chit-chat.  In-so-much that you absolutely must, without-a-doubt, talk during the fucking movie!!  No matter what the warning signs read.  No matter the number of warnings.  You have to do it.  Because you never know when Friday’s party plans may fall through or little Johnny wants a new video game and he has to have his answer now….

Honestly fuck all of you who do that to the rest of us trying to enjoy a movie.  Because no matter who, where or when; if I go to the movies, you’re there just yakking away.  During the show, with your bright-ass LCD screen interrupting me who has paid $30 to get 2 seats a bucket of popcorn and a soda, just to trying to enjoy the show.

What the fuck ever happened to ushers?  These useless pond scums could easily be removed so that the rest of us can enjoy the movie at a decent volume level.  Instead, the theater owners don’t want to deal with the hassle, and instead buy ungodly audio equipment to play the movie at such decibel levels that even the complete deaf could enjoy the movie in unbelievable high-definition, word for word.  While I, on the other hand, have to pray my ears don’t start bleeding.  When I can feel my lunch vibrate in my stomach….  It’s too fucking loud!  Trust me, I’m an ex-drummer, I know loud.  But nothing like this.

Thanks for making a good movie suck to try and watch…

This kind of racial tension has got to fucking stop.  What our ancestors did a hundred years ago is over and done with.  We can’t go back and change it.  Yet, there are those who cling so closely to it, they wait to pounce on any chance to say the word “black” is something racial.  Like this douche bag Texas County Official who deems the term “Black Hole” as racist.

Firstly, you’d think that someone who has reached the status of a “County Official” would’ve had to finish High School in some fashion.  See, when I went to school, we learned that a black hole is a “region of space in which the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing, not even light, can escape its pull after having fallen past its event horizon”.  You can look that up in any dictionary or online source for science.  And even as of today’s date, the Urban Dictionary known for it’s “slang” version definition of terms and phrases, does not even closely relate the term Black Hole to racism.  Though after this event, it just might.

No, I honestly believe that this so-called Official, just wants his 15 minutes of fame to shout oppression against the white man.  Frankly, if anyone is racial, it’s this ass-bag.  Not the person referring to a scientific term.

Is this “Official” ignorant?  No, he’s just a fucking retard.  Or maybe there’s a black hole in his brain sucking the intelligence right out of it.  (and everyone around him)

Racism is dumb, stop contributing to it by jumping on every term that contains the word black!!

Some people, or in this case a teenager, get too attached to supercilious things like a hat.  Tragically this ended in the teenager becoming decapitated by a Batman Roller coaster.

The teen jumped over two sets of fences that were very clearly marked “Restricted area-Authorized Personnel Only,” and “Danger Zone-Do Not Enter.”.  All because his hat blew off while riding the very same ride.  Once he got to the area of his hat, the coaster came by at full speed and struck the teen, removing his head from his body.

While the teen had good intentions with his life by being active in church and had plans to join the National Guard.  Clearly wasn’t the brightest of the bunch when he took it upon himself to retrieve his own hat from under the coaster that was active with guests of the park in Six Flags Over Georgia.

Apparently he couldn’t wait to get his hat from the lost and found.

All over a stupid hat….

Full Story @ Associated Press